i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
