I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
