jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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