You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
