gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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