Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
