More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
