Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
