Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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