I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
