you would pick up someone in the library
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
