I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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