one might say we're banned from that church
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
