Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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