I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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