ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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