If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
