No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
