Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
