Joe is yelling at the trees again.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Life is so much better after having sex.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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