So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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