idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
