just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
