I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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