go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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