There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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