i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
