Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
