I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
