Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
