very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
