so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
