You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
