:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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