I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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