Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Randomize
