My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
