if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
