He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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