Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Everyone says I win the strip club
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
