There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
