Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
