i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
