There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
