she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
