There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
