We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
