i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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