This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
