i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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