So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How's work?
Spinning.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
