One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
